This is something no one else has done
by beckytiger
Summary: *Now with Chapter Four!* The title is something Ron says, not my ego talking. This story blends romance and humour, and, be warned, contains SLASH. Ron/Draco slash, no less. The R rating is perhaps a little too high, it's not explicit.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer - I'm just exercising them for J.K. Rowling, and will profit in no way from this fic.  
  
The title is something Ron says, not my inflated ego thinking I've come up with something unique. All feedback welcome.  
  
This is something no one's ever done before.  
  
Ron stood on top of the astronomy tower, letting the sharp gusts of chill wind distract him from his swirling thoughts. Here, he could see the forbidden forest, could see the moon casting shadows, distinct and sharp, and he moved so that he was in the moonlight, so he cast a shadow of his own. So he was not in a shadow. He could find distraction here, distraction that he could not find in his dormitory where five older brothers had slept, where his best friend slept now.  
  
He heard the door open, and spun around, trying to feel the familiar resentment when he saw the silver head of Draco Malfoy, but his anger seemed to have been bleached away by the moonlight.  
  
"So, how many detentions and points from Gryffindor do you intend to take obscene delight in this time, Prefect Malfoy?" he snarled, without, however, much conviction. An irritated look flickered across Draco's face, but his voice was as cool as ever, and strangely mild, as he leaned against the wall.  
  
"I'm not here on prefect's business, Weasley, so do yourself a favour and scuttle back to your tower before I decide I am." Draco paused, tilting his head and looking at Ron more closely. "Wait, where are the others? The suns to your shadow? Are you sure you can stand all this moonlight without them here to shade you?"  
  
Ron ground his teeth. "It may have escaped your limited powers of observation, Malfoy, but I am a person in my own right, and not joined to anyone's hip. A pity the same cannot be said for Crabbe and Goyle. If I see them muss up each other's hair at breakfast in that ridiculously camp fashion one more time, I think I will be ill."  
  
"Moonlight becomes you, Weasley." observed Draco, very amused. "It obviously amplifies your articulation. I am intrigued by what could have dragged you from your post at Potters side. Do tell."  
  
"Forgive me if I don't confide in you, Malfoy." sneered Ron, "I don't think I can stand all the sympathy and understanding you're so famed for."  
  
"Very neat." Draco approved. "I suggest that you tell me, however, before I remember that I am a prefect and that you are out of bed."  
  
"I knew the stoop to blackmail wouldn't take long, those Malfoy genes can't be kept down."  
  
Draco flinched involuntarily. "Blackmail?" he snapped. "Hardly. Rules, Weasley. You would think that even your family would be able to afford common sense for their children." He saw Ron flinch in turn, and stepped forward from the shadows of the door, coming to stand near Ron. "Tell me."  
  
Ron looked away, then back, searching Draco's face with an unexpected look. Draco had never thought that Ron could have such piercing eyes, but he guessed he had never seen them close and unguarded like this.  
  
"If I tell you why I'm here, will you tell me why you're here?"  
  
Now Draco searched Ron's face, and felt a strange urge to share his secret with him. He nodded almost involuntarily.  
  
"I'm here," started Ron, almost inaudibly, "wishing that I could do something that no one in my family has ever done before. That I could be famous in my own right. That I could get out of the shadow."  
  
"I'm here," said Draco, equally softly, "wishing that I could escape my family name. That I could do things because I want to do them. That I could be free of the expectations put on the son of Malfoy."  
  
Understanding hovered between them, as they looked at each other and realised how similar their positions were. A tentative smile flickered on Ron's lips, and he could see the first traces of an answering smile on Draco's. Suddenly, they heard footsteps and teachers' voices on the stairs. Ron snatched something off the ground, pulled Draco close, and wrapped the something around them both, stifling Draco's protests with a hissed: "It's the invisibility cloak, shut up.". Draco froze against Ron as the door opened and Professors McGonagall and Sinistra appeared. They glanced cursorily around the landing, muttered something about Flich and wild goose chases, and disappered again. An ominous click sounded behind them, and their footsteps were heard retreating down the stairs. Ron pulled the cloak off them, strangely reluctant to let Draco move away from him. Once free, Draco moved over to the door, and tried the handle. A fleeting look of panic crossed his face.  
  
"Have you got your wand, Weasley?"  
  
"No, why? Is the door locked?"  
  
"Yes." Draco slumped onto the stone seat, his mind whirling with possible consequences. Ron joined him, equally slumped and silent.   
  
"This is awful." Draco breathed at last. "Imagine what will happen if they don't open that door until, say, breakfast time tomorrow morning. Everyone will notice we're missing, and will notice our sudden reappearance, and will think we..." his voice trailed off, obviously unable to finish that thought. Silence descended again.  
  
"Well," said Ron with a small laugh, "this is something none of my brothers ever did; getting their reputation ruined by a Malfoy."  
  
"Yeah, and it's not something that's expected of a Malfoy either. And you should be privileged to have your reputation besmirched by a Malfoy." Draco snapped, although the words lacked sting.  
  
"I can think of privileges I'd rather have."  
  
Draco slumped toward Ron, who was leaning toward him, and their shoulders met and held as they contemplated this new twist. Draco let his head fall down onto Ron's shoulder, as if he just couldn't keep it up any longer. Ron shifted to look down on the silver head, a movement which almost caused Draco to slip. Ron slid an arm around his shoulders, letting Draco pillow his head more comfortably. Neither spoke, as if afraid that words would spoil this strange intimacy. Ron stared up at the stars, Draco down at his hands, twisting in his lap.  
  
Ron felt Draco's head shift on his shoulder, and looked down to find Draco looking up at him, their faces almost touching.  
  
"Ron," said Draco, "don't you think it's a waste to have your reputation ruined for nothing?" Ron looked at him consideringly. "I mean," continued Draco, "everyone's going to think I had my wicked way with you and they'll expect you to know things, things that only a master teacher such as myself could provide." A smile began to curve Ron's lips. "It could fatally damage my reputation if word got out that I didn't teach you anything and - "  
  
His voice was cut off by Ron's mouth over his, and Ron's tongue invading through parted lips, and Ron's free hand holding his face still, and Draco forgot whatever it was that he wanted to say anyway, as he gasped and tried to deal with the concept that Ron Weasley was kissing him, and he was on fire, and where the hell did Ron learn to kiss like that?  
  
Draco's hands grasped the front of Ron's robes as Ron pressed him closer, and he kissed him back feverishly, letting one hand slide up to tangle in Ron's hair. Ron's lips tore away from his, and trailed over his neck, kissing, licking, biting, sucking, in a complex rhythm that just about shattered Draco.  
  
"Wait.. Ron..." he panted, "aren't I supposed to be the one seducing and, oh gods, besmirching you?"  
  
"Are you complaining, Draco?" said Ron, into his neck, dealing with the fastenings on his cloak with one hand, tiliting Draco's head up to a better angle with the other. Draco gasped and shivered as Ron found a particularly sensitive spot.  
  
"Gods, no-" Draco gasped. "I just didn't think you'd be like this."  
  
"And you've been thinking about kissing me for just how long?" Ron contrived to still sound amused and in control, although his hand was shaking slightly as he finished dealing with the fastenings. He cut off what ever reply Draco was formulating by leaning forward and kissing him again. As their mouths tangled, Ron couldn't bite back a growl of pleasure, and he moved Draco so he was lying back on the bench with Ron braced over him. Draco's hands slid up the back of Ron's cloak and inside his shirt, running lightly over the exposed skin. Ron's fingers were busy on Draco's shirt buttons, which were soon open halfway down his chest. Ron paused, pulled his mouth away, and deliberately opened the last recalcitrant button with his teeth. Draco arched up as Ron kissed his way back up his chest, and muttered fiercely: "This seat is too hard. I wish we had a bed."   
  
A puff of purple smoke and a flash of light interrupted them, and they Ron jumped backward and fell off the seat, exposing Draco's half dressed body to the light.  
  
"Yes, indeed, I bet you wish you had a bed." crowed a familiar voice, and they looked up with horror to see Peeves above them clutching a camera. He laughed gleefully and turned three somersaults before scooting off to the door. "I'll lock it behind me, since you obviously want some privacy, and I'll be sure to show you the photo in the morning when the teachers come to let you out." With that, he flew through the door, slamming and locking it behind him.  
  
Draco groaned and sat up on the seat, pulling the edges of his shirt together with unsteady fingers. Ron looked beyond even groans as he stared after the poltergeist.  
  
"Oh. Gods." Ron whispered at last. "We're dead." Draco's mind whirled furiously as he tried to assimilate this fresh disaster.  
  
"None of my brothers have EVER done anything like this. Not even Fred and George." Ron continued. "What shall we do?" Draco snapped out of his abstraction to focus on Ron, seeing his hair all ruffled and his cloak askew and trying very hard not to just slide down onto the ground next to him and kiss him again.  
  
"I have an idea." Draco said at last. Ron looked at him, eyes hopeful. "We'll brazen this out. We'll act deliriously in love and really give the school something to talk about." Ron looked doubtful.  
  
"Your father will kill you." he pointed out.  
  
"I'll come to live with you."  
  
"My brothers will kill me."  
  
"We'll have to live with Harry, then."  
  
Ron looked at Draco's eyes shining silver in the moonlight, and pulled him down to sit on his lap. He wrapped his arms around Draco, settled him more comfortably, then kissed his lips lightly.  
  
"Ok, then, Draco."  
  
"That's it? Ok, and a chaste kiss?" asked Draco in outrage. "A Gryffindor couldn't fool a first year Hufflepuff if they tried."  
  
"I'm waiting for you to come through with your boasts about besmirching," explained Ron, amused, "but if you'd rather I took the lead again..." Draco wasted no time in arguing, but kissed Ron deeply, expertly, and to such good effect that Ron pinned Draco to the ground with deft suddenness and abruptly took up where they had left off on Peeves's arrival. Draco was more than happy to comply.  
  
----  
Professors McGonagall and Snape came and let them out the next morning, right slap in the middle of breakfast. Obviously, Peeves had timed his disclosure for the maximum humiliation, and now Ron and Draco would have to walk ino the middle of breakfast in front of the whole school, who would have, by now, probably all seen the photo too. Neither boy made any attempt to tidy themselves up over much, beyond actually putting their clothes back on, and Draco critically surveyed Ron to ensure that he had enough of a rumpled look.  
  
"People expect me to be fantastic in bed." he explained, at Ron's arched eyebrow. "I want to make sure you look suitably ravished." Ron smiled, a knowing, sensual smile, and slid his hand to hold the back of Draco's neck, tilting his head up. The other hand pressed against the small of Draco's back, and Ron continued to smile as he lowered his lips to Draco's neck, where he kissed and bit and sucked with abandon, ignoring Draco's protests and squirms and needing gasps. At last he pulled back and admired his handiwork in the shape of a black bruise on Draco's neck, clearly visible above his collar.   
  
"People expect me to be the possessive type." he explained. "I want to make sure there is no question about that." Draco smiled slyly, and almost purred.  
  
"I would reciprocate, but I had enough forethought to leave one last night." His fingers brushed over the betraying mark on Ron's neck. "I told you I was fantastic in bed."  
  
"I wouldn't agree," answered Ron. As Draco's eyes narrowed with suspicion and anger, he continued "since I've never had you in a bed."  
  
"It'll be me having you, Weasley." he snapped.  
  
"Are you only going to call me Ron when I've reduced you to a breathy little heap of lust?"  
  
It was at this point in the exchange that McGonagall and Snape arrived, both looking furious, but seeming beyond much speech as McGonagall snapped: "Fifty points each from Gryffindor and Slytherin, and a detention for both of you. Now go straight to the hall and have some breakfast, then go and get changed. And have a shower."  
  
They trailed down the stairs behind their indignant professors, and took a deep breath before they entered the dining hall. Draco took Ron's hand, and smiled that familiar, mocking smile. They strolled into the dining hall with as much nonchalance as they could muster, entering to a shocked silence as everyone turned to look at them, then back to the picture that Peeves had thoughtfully blown up and suspended from the roof. Ron closed his eyes for an anguished moment at the sight of him and Draco entwined on the bench. Peeves had caught them well, he acknowleged as the Ron in the photo licked the belly of the Draco in the photo lingeringly. He caught himself, and turned to Draco, the hall still filled with an expectant hush. Draco smiled, a superior, triumphant smile, and pulled Ron into his arms for a deep kiss, tongue snaking out to twine around Ron's tongue. Draco dimly heard the dining hall erupt into whistles and cat calls, and pulled reluctantly away. His smile was still cocky and triumphant as he let go of Ron and started toward the Slytherin table. Ron caught his arm, and turned him back, smiling his own indecently pleased smile as he deftly did up the two buttons on Draco's robe that had come undone during the kiss, then patted him casually on the cheek before striding off to the Gryffindor table.  
  
As he ate his breakfast, Draco mused on the fate that had served him this twist, and looked up in time to see Ron looking at him. He smiled across at the other boy, a rare, warm, genuine smile, and felt his cheeks tingle hot as Ron blew him a kiss. He didn't care if his father disowned him. He tried not to laugh at the way his fellow Slytherin's treated him as if he had a contagious disease. He tried very hard not to preen too much over the obviously satisfied glow that Ron emanated, and the puzzled glances that the Gryffindors kept sending him. This was great. This was how things should be. A shaft of sunlight glanced across Ron's face, and Draco couldn't think of anything better than both of them sharing the light.  
  
Ron drank in the silent incredulity of his friends. He nearly laughed out loud at the excited whisperings and staring. He couldn't help his gaze from straying to Draco Malfoy, who was eating his breakfast with distinctly more appetite than usual, as though he desperately needed refuelling after an intense experience. This felt fantastic. This was how things should be. He saw Draco look at him, smiling that genuine smile, and sent a kiss back, unable to think of anything better than seeing that smile.  
  
----  
  
Well, there it is. It's a stand alone right now, but I'm considering extending it to deal with the reactions of others, and some more compromising positions.  
All feedback is welcome, particularly regarding my characterisation. I have problems with Draco especially. So, if I have missed something vital in Draco's psyche, let me know. As for Ron, he's not the innocent he seems... 


	2. consummation interruptus

----  
Disclaimer as for chapter one. In case you haven't noticed, this contains two boys having an intimate physical relationship.  
Thanks to all those who read and reviewed, more specific thanks (and reactions) at the bottom.   
  
----  
They met on the front steps that afternoon to go for a walk. It was a relief to get away from the crowds of curious students who stared and whispered and pointed.   
  
"How's reaction been at your end?" asked Draco.  
  
"Well, Hermione has subjected me to every Dark Arts sensing charm she can remember, and is currently in the library looking up more. That's been her only response."  
  
"She thinks I had to put a spell on you? I'm insulted."  
  
"Harry keeps looking at me strangely and speaking to me as if I'm about to explode, and is now helping Hermione look up sensing spells, while also reading about magical mental illnesses." Ron continued. "Seamus wants to know if you taste like french vanilla ice cream."  
  
"What did you tell him?"  
  
"That there is no taste on this earthly plane that I could compare you to."  
  
Draco laughed, a surprisingly open sound, coming from him. "That's wonderful. I hope you used a suitably breathy and dying-to-do-it-again voice."  
  
"What about the Slytherins?"  
  
"Crabbe and Goyle cornered me in the common room and told me about their undying passion for each other and invited us on a double date. I narrowly escaped a group hug." Draco shuddered at the memory. "Pansy Parkinson tried to chat with me about my orientation, and how normal it was to go through a questioning phase, and then ruined her whole nauseatingly sympathetic approach by asking me how I could question with you."  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"That I have discovered why all the Weasleys have so many kids."  
  
Now Ron laughed. "I haven't heard from my family yet, but I bet Ginny is owling them now."  
  
"I haven't heard from my family either, but I will soon." Draco's shoulders drooped a little at the thought of his father's reaction. Ron wrapped an arm around him.  
  
"I told Harry that if our parents disown us we're going to come and live with the Dursleys. It actually cheered him up."   
  
They reached a comfortable looking patch of grass and stretched out in the feeble twilight sun.  
  
"How long do you think it will take for people to stop following us around and pointing?"  
  
"A few days, unless we do something really outrageous to recapture our audience."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Really, Weasley, use your imagination."  
  
"If I used my imagination I think the something outrageous would result in expulsion, not just an audience."  
  
"Gods, how did you manage to act so prim and proper for so long?"  
  
"Malfoy, is my mind deceiving me, or have you never before paid attention to me?"  
  
"Do I go back to being Malfoy when you're not hot for my body?"  
  
"What makes you think I'm not hot for your body?"  
  
"I seem to remember you calling me Draco when you were hot for it last night. As in: 'yes, please, Draco, please'."  
  
"I seem to remember you calling me Ron, too. As in: 'oh, god, Ron, you're fantastic, do that again'."  
  
"You're not supposed to be able to think enough to remember what I say by the time I say things like that. You're so hard to please."  
  
"No, I'm just hard."  
  
"Weasley, you're a slut."  
  
"Malfoy, you're a tease."  
  
Whatever indignant rejoiner Draco was contemplating never made it to his lips as Ron leant over him and kissed him, pressing him back into the grass with one hand and undoing buttons with the other. Draco more than reciprocated, and they were both breathing heavily by the time they pulled apart. Draco pushed Ron onto his back and half sprawled on top of him, pushing Ron's thighs apart to accomodate him. His fingers continued their work with Ron's buttons as his mouth renewed it's acquaintance with Ron's neck.  
  
"That's the other thing Seamus asked me." gasped Ron, bucking his hips up against him as Draco's hands moved teasingly lower. "If I was aware that the lovebite on my neck was in the shape of the Slytherin serpent."  
  
"Is it?" Draco looked closely. "Maybe if I add a bit." His mouth descended back onto Ron's skin, and bit and sucked gently. He observed his handiwork once more before bending his head lower, to trail over Ron's collarbones. Ron managed to get Draco's robe unbuttoned, wrestled it off him and tossed it aside, before sliding his hands inside his opened shirt. Draco was unzipping Ron's pants, his teeth gently toying with Ron's right nipple, when a shriek interrupted them.  
  
They both jumped, and looked up to see Hermione covering her face with her hands and Harry leaning against a tree in a shocked-beyond-endurance kind of way. Ron hastily zipped his pants back up and pulled his shirt and robe back into place. Draco grabbed his robe and sat up, shrugging it over his shoulders, a distinctly annoyed expression warring with a profoundly amused one. Ron stayed sprawled on the ground.  
  
"Yes, Hermione and Harry, what do you want? Another sensing charm?"  
  
"Er, yes, Ron, if you don't mind." squeaked Hermione, venturing to take one hand away from her face and look at her friend.  
  
"I'm insulted that you think I'd need to ensorcel him, Granger." drawled Malfoy. "It should be obvious to everyone that the only magical instrument I need is my-"  
  
"Draco!" interrupted Ron hastily, a blush spreading over his face. "Go ahead, Hermione, just don't take too long."  
  
Hermione approached, wand outstretched. Draco moved to sit next to Ron, and started to take his shoes off. He was startled by Harry's sudden approach, as the boy came to stand over him.   
  
"Malfoy, don't bother to deny it. You're doing this for some deep and devious reason. You've hated us for years, and now you expect us to believe that this- this escapade is entirely without sinister motives."  
  
"Oh, I don't deny my sinister motives." answered Draco, waving one hand negligently. "I readily admit that I am entirely on the catch for a dirt-poor boyfriend with five older brothers who will probably react the exact way you are doing and want to beat me to a pulp. I imagine my motives are completely obvious."  
  
"Dammit, Malfoy, it can't be because you like Ron!"  
  
"Have I told you today how much I admire the high regard your friends hold you in, Weasley?"  
  
"Ha, ha. Harry, shut up, and breathe deeply: your glasses are starting to fog from too much emotion. Are you finished Hermione?"  
  
"Yes, no trace of any kind of magic."  
  
"There's no need to sound so disappointed. Why shouldn't I be doing this of my own free will?"  
  
"But, Ron, it's like Harry said, he's hated us for years, and now he's suddenly changed and gone all lovey-dovey over you. It's not right."  
  
"I fail to see any trace of lovey-doveyness in Malfoy."  
  
"Ugh, it sounds like I should be writing you love notes. The only way you're going to get one of them from me is written across my stomach in chocolate."  
  
"You sweet talker. But, seriously, Hermione, Harry." Ron took a deep breath and continued: "This is ok. I'm not being coerced, Draco's not being coerced, and I fail to see what your problem is beyond that you don't like him. Sure, he's snide and rude and I still want to tear his throat out when he drawls at me, but other than that-"  
  
"Oh, Ron, you've just made me the happiest man on earth!" announced Draco, in a mock rapture, jumping back on top of Ron and knocking the breath out of him. "What an unequivocal declaration!" He proceeded to smother Ron with a feverish kiss, pulling Ron's robes back open to his questing fingers and pointedly ignoring Harry's exclamation of dismay. He dimly heard them retreating, but didn't let up on his assault. Ron eagerly joined the fray, and Draco soon found both his robe and shirt wrestled off him and discarded, and Ron happily wriggling out of his own. Draco's fingers slid back to Ron's pants as Ron's mouth nibbled and licked over Draco's shoulder and his hands ran down Draco's back to press his thrusting hips against him more firmly.  
  
Another shriek disturbed them, and they looked up to see Crabbe and Goyle, Crabbe with his head buried on Goyle's shoulder in obvious distress and Goyle looking away in an embarassed manner. This time Draco just propped himself up on one elbow and regarded the pair with exasperation. Ron grabbed Draco's robe and draped it over them modestly.  
  
"What?" snapped Draco.  
  
"Er, just came to look for you, about that double date. You'll have to keep Weasley quiet, and we don't want his friends coming along either."  
  
"Yeah, it might spoil the mood."  
  
"Have I told you today how much I admire your friend's abilities to recognise a mood spoiler?"  
  
"Vincent, Gregory, Ron and I are in the exclusive stage of our relationship..." began Draco, in a very patient voice.  
  
"We didn't mean we wanted to sleep with him!" protested Goyle, shocked.  
  
"I mean that we don't really want to share each other."  
  
"Well, we don't want to sleep with you either." added Crabbe, horrified.  
  
"I mean, that all we want at the moment is to spend time alone. By ourselves." explained Draco, his voice getting ominously impatient.  
  
"Oh, yeah, right." they chorused, making no moves to go. Draco raised an eyebrow.  
  
"So, about this double date.."   
  
"They obviously have great recognition skills when it comes to hints too."   
  
"Go away. Now." hissed Draco.  
  
"Oh, Draco, I just love it when you want to spend time alone with me." enthused Ron, pulling Draco down and kissing him intently, having obviously decided that explanations were not the way to get rid of Crabbe and Goyle. After a few moments of being ignored, the pair shuffled off, bewildered by Draco's reluctance to talk to them. Halfway back to Hogwarts, Goyle suddenly grasped Crabbe's arm.  
  
"I've got it!" he announced. "They were making out, see, and were shy about doing it in front of us."  
  
Crabbe thought hard. "I dunno why they'd be like that."  
  
Meanwhile, Draco was licking his way down Ron's stomach, while his hands ran up and down Ron's thighs. He undid the button on Ron's jeans with his teeth, and was about to unzip them, encouraged by Ron's hands twined in his hair, Ron's hips rocking upward and Ron's pleading little moans, when they were interrupted again, this time by Pigwidgeon, fluttering and hooting excitedly, with a message.  
  
Ron untied the message and opened it.  
  
'Get back to school. It's nearly dark. Hermione.'  
  
Draco rolled away, lying on the cool grass and breathing heavily. Ron crumpled the note.  
  
"I'm going to kill them all." he announced.  
  
"Not if I get to them first." Draco sat up and reached for his shirt, tossing Ron's to him. "We'd better go, though, we'll be late for dinner as it is."  
  
"Well, maybe you can come through on your boasts about how fantastic you are in bed tonight then." suggested Ron.  
  
"Your bed or mine?"  
  
"Which will be easier to soundproof?"  
  
"My room is more private, since I've got one to myself."  
  
"My room doesn't have Crabbe and Goyle talking about double dates en route."  
  
"It does have Seamus Finnigan taking way too much interest in me."  
  
"Your room then."  
  
"Jealous?"  
  
"Seamus owns a camera."  
  
"You say that like it's a bad thing."  
  
"In Seamus's hands, it probably is. I think we've had enough trouble with compromising photographs."  
  
----  
  
  
The howler arrived from Draco's father two days later. Ron saw the owl swoop in with the distinctive red envelope, and was on his feet and over to the Slytherin table before Draco pulled it from it's envelope, watched avidly by his fellow Slytherins, who were all dying to see Draco's mortification. As Lucius's voice began to echo around the dining hall, Ron dragged Draco from his seat and into his arms, kissing him with all the reassurance he could muster. It was hard to take a wrathful Lucius Malfoy threatening his only son with indescribable punishments seriously, when said only son was bent backward over the breakfast table being soundly and theatrically kissed by his lover. As the howler burst into flames, Ron drew back, and met Draco's eyes, which were full of fearful shadows.  
  
"I guess we'll be getting married from my house, then," he said, "since your parents don't approve. Do you think it's because I'm so poor?"  
  
"If you thought you were getting a rich husband you're sadly mistaken." joked Draco, as best he could. Ron smiled kindly.  
  
"You know it's not the size of your wallet that attracts me." At this, even Draco had to laugh, but Ron noticed that he was quiet throughout the day.  
  
That afternoon they went walking again, in what had become a habit for them, and chose a secluded spot to lie down in. Draco pillowed his head on Ron's chest, sighing deeply.  
  
"Draco," said Ron, hesitantly. "if you want to, you can come to my house for the holidays, or we can stay here. I don't want this to end because of your father."  
  
"He would kill me if I went home, even if I did break this off."  
  
"You're not considering it, are you?"  
  
"I told you my mastery of the carnal arts was absolute and addictive. You can't get enough of me."  
  
"Idiot. If I just wanted to fuck you we wouldn't have to be public about it."  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
"So, why are you really doing this?"  
  
"Lots of reasons."  
  
"Such as..?"  
  
"How about, because even though you're still hot-headed and impatient and I still want to rip you to pieces when you use your sure-whatever voice, I like being round you. And I've always wanted to have someone as loyal to me as you are to your friends."  
  
"And I'm an excellent disciple in the carnal arts."  
  
"Hell, forget disciple, I'm willing to share professor status with you."  
  
Draco lifted his head and kissed Ron slowly and lingeringly. The kiss led to touching, and soon both were mostly naked and shivering slightly in the thin light of sunset. They lay back on one robe and pulled the other over them, creating a private little cocoon.  
  
Ron ran his tongue down the inside of Draco's arm and nibbled at the soft skin of his wrist. He sucked each finger into his mouth, one at a time, his hand busy unfastening Draco's boxers. Draco thrust up against him, sleepy silvery eyes burning. Ron kissed his way down Draco's body, his mouth about to follow the path his hands had taken, when a huge bark interrupted them.  
  
Fang raced over to Ron and Draco and bounced around them, still barking excitedly. Ron hastily moved up so his head was level with Draco's and eyed Fang with reproach.  
  
"Fang, go away." he ordered. Fang ran off immediately, much to Ron's surprise.  
  
"Well, that was easy." commented Draco. "If only Crabbe and Goyle were so obedient." He thrust his hips up against Ron's, who immeditely took the hint and thrust back, rubbing their erections together with enthusiasm. They kissed greedily, oblivious to their surroundings, until a large stick crashed down on them. They jumped about a foot in the air, and looked up to see Fang panting happily, obviously waiting for his friend Ron to play a nice game of fetch. Draco groaned with frustration.  
  
"Fang," called Hagrid's voice, "where've yeh gone teh?" Draco and Ron had no time to do more than exchange horrified glances before Hagrid came into the clearing. Fang bounded up to him and bounced round excitedly, then raced back to Ron and Draco, who now clutched the robe about their entwined bodies tightly.  
  
"Ron, good teh see..." Hagrid's hearty greeting died away as he realised exactly who Ron's companion was and took in the details of their dishevelled state. "Oh, er, um..." he stammered, clearly not knowing where to look. Ron tried to smile at him reassuringly.  
  
"Yes, Hagrid, it's lovely to see you too."  
  
"Uh, yeah, good. Hmm. Well."  
  
"Uh, Hagrid?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You think that you and Fang can give us some privacy to put our clothes back on?"  
  
"Ah. Yeah. Sure. Come over for a cuppa when yeh're done." Hagrid blurted out before racing away, followed by a disappointed Fang.  
  
"Did he just invite us for a cup of tea?" asked Draco, faintly.  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Well, that's surprising. I thought Hagrid would be certain to tear me limb from limb for ruining you."  
  
"Nah, Hagrid's really relaxed and tolerant. He's incredibly openminded."  
  
"So, we're going to have this cup of tea, then?"  
  
"If you want."  
  
"Well, it's something that no Malfoy would ever do, so I guess so."  
  
"Just don't eat the toffee."  
  
"I never thought that this would lead me to making friends with a groundkeeper."  
  
"I never thought that this would lead to me having to avoid Crabbe and Goyle's attempts to get me to lip-synch to 'Priscilla, Queen of the Desert' with them while wearing spandex and sequined high heels either."  
  
----  
  
The next day started disasterously when it was revealed that the Slytherins had put an audio recording charm under Draco's bed. Breakfast was eaten to an accompaniment of smutty pillow talk from the recording, and ribald commentary from the assembled students, until the Professors figured out how to disable the charm. Ron just about sank under the table with embarassment, and even Draco looked discomfited as his recorded voice described, in some detail, what he would like to do to Ron in the next potions class. Snape glowered furiously, and favoured them both with killer death glares.  
  
The rest of the day passed with various students quoting either or both of them from the recording, and some went so far as to act the scenes out in the corridors; Draco's filthy description of what Ron's freckles did for him being especially popular, with Ron's salacious monolgue about Draco's mouth being a slither of raw silk a close second. Ron had to force himself not to blush, or, if in Draco's company, ravish his lover on the spot, every time he saw or heard a group of students doing such an enactment.  
  
It rained, so they retired to the library to do their homework in the afternoon, joined by Harry and Hermione, who seemed to be making a real effort to accept Draco, although both blushed whenever they looked at either Ron or Draco, which tended to put a damper on the conversation. Crabbe and Goyle, who seemed to have adopted Ron without a second thought, came over too, and Ron was fervently glad for the presence of the librarians, which prevented either of them from indulging in their usual embarassing discussions about Kylie Minogue. Seamus came over too, and divided his time evenly between his books and half awestruck, half speculative glances at Ron and Draco. After about an hour of this, Ron leant over the table toward Seamus.  
  
"Seamus."  
  
"Yeah, Ron?"  
  
"Why are you looking at us like that?" Seamus blushed furiously, and Draco smirked.  
  
"Ah, no reason." stammered Seamus.  
  
"Good."  
  
"Except..."  
  
"Except what, Seamus?"  
  
"Well..." he glanced around the library, assuring himself that the others were busy with their homework. "Would you... Would you kiss him? I mean, now, in front of me?"  
  
"What?" exploded Ron, earning himself a quelling look from the librarian and a reproving one from Hermione. Draco's smirk widened. "You want us to kiss, in front of you?" he asked, more quietly.  
  
"Ah. Yeah. Well. If you wouldn't mind..." Ron sat back, astounded. Draco turned to him, eyes alight and mocking smile firmly in place.  
  
"Shall we indulge him, Weasley?"  
  
"Hell, I have to share a dormitory with him. Can't he find some other couple to obsess over?"  
  
"Yeah. Hey, Crabbe, Goyle." They turned to look at Draco. "Finnigan here wants to watch you-"  
  
"Ugh. Don't finish that, Malfoy. I think I'd rather have him watch us than encourage those two to snog."  
  
"Ok, then." Draco tilted Ron's head with one hand, and leant in to kiss him. Ron's lips parted automatically, and Draco let his tongue snake out to touch them before sliding inside. Ron kissed back, slow and leisurely, letting his own hand run through Draco's hair. Seamus squeaked excitedly, and squirmed in his chair, attracting the attention of the other students, who watched with varying degrees of fascination and horror as Draco tangled one hand in Ron's bright hair and let the other run up Ron's thigh, under his robe, continuing to kiss all the while. At last, they broke apart, and Draco turned to Seamus.  
  
"Was that alright?" he asked, his voice still husky from the kiss.  
  
"It better have been, because I'm not doing it again. He'll just have to take his chances on witnessing a public snog with all the other students." interjected Ron, his own voice throatier than normal.  
  
Seamus looked at them both with eyes as wide as saucers, nodded once, and bounced out of his chair to run from the library. The other students, after a moment of incredulous silence, turned back to their books with a determined-to-ignore-sleazy-distractions air. Draco leaned into Ron.  
  
"This morning," he whispered, "Finnigan cornered me, and asked me if your freckles went all over."  
  
"What did you tell him?"  
  
"That, yes, they went *all* over, and that I intended to join them up with strawberry syrup and listen to you beg me as I licked it off very, very slowly." His eyes caught a strange expression on Ron's face. "What are you thinking?"  
  
"I'm wondering if I've got enough patience to wait till I get you to a bed before I fuck you, or if I should just drag you into a convenient niche somewhere and hope for the best."  
  
"A bed would be better, but we're going to have trouble with that one. My room is out until we find a way to Slytherin proof it, and your dorm is out unless we can ensure that we won't wake up with Finnigan perched at the foot of the bed."  
  
"I can hardly wait for the holidays."  
  
"You're going to stay here with me?"  
  
"Yeah. Try to keep me away."  
  
"I'm glad." Their fingers met and held under the table, and both turned back to their school work with as much concentration as they could muster, as their minds whirled with the unspoken thought that the other was rapidly becoming indispensable.  
  
----  
Thanks for the wonderful feedback. I adore you all, even the ones who said 'ew, sick'. Heh, you reckon I've got this old without figuring out that I'm a weirdo? I will try to find and review stories by each reviewer, I promise. And, to the person who said my story was disgusting and gay: yes, well, that puts me in my place, doesn't it? I have been slapped on the wrist with a wet bus ticket and will immediately reform myself from the equal opportunity lech I have been all this time. At least you mentioned my writing, so I can live with disapproval of my orientation.  
Just a last, desperate, plug for one of my other fics, 'Rebuilding', which is nowhere near as popular as this one, and gives me a choice between two melancholy options - either my summary is boring and no one wants to read it because they think it'll be awful, or I can't write drama, angst, or complicated emotional situations to save myself. If you liked this fic, please read my other one, and tell me what you don't like about it so I can tear it to shreds and improve it.  
---- 


	3. A fight, Revenge, and more strawberry sy...

Disclaimer as for previous chapters. In case you haven't noticed, this story contains a boy having an intimate physical relationship with another boy.  
Oh, yeah. If you want to achive this, just let me know where it's going.  
Thanks for all the reviews, more specific thanks and responses at the end. It's a bit chaste at the beginning, but watch out for coarse hilarity at the end.  
----  
----  
(In the Staffroom.)  
  
"Honestly, Albus, it's worse than when Sirius and Remus were here. I thought their relationship had broken all the boundaries, but this...At least Sirius and Remus were in the same house, so there were no nasty incidents. Like that audio recording charm." Minerva McGonagall shuddered.  
  
"Yes, that was a little embarassing." Albus's voice was amused. "Severus, did they go through with what Mr Malfoy suggested they do in Potions?"  
  
"No." snapped Severus. "I've been keeping them as far apart as possible."  
  
"Just don't do any of the more, er, risque potions on the curriculum for a while. I imagine the Slytherins could think up some pretty evil uses for a wilting potion, for example."  
  
"The students of my house are just as trustworthy as those from other houses, Albus." retorted Severus.  
  
"Well, the Gryffindors would possibly go for something less cruel, but more embarassing, like a potion that makes them touch constantly." interjected Minerva.  
  
"That effect wouldn't be very noticeable, however." said Albus, dryly.  
  
"Yes, I know." sighed Minerva. "Ron Weasley is as bad as Sirius when it comes to public displays." Severus snorted, his expression implying that 'bad' was too mild an adjective to apply to Sirius's antics, and definitely not the word he would use to describe Ron.  
  
"Well, they haven't yet been caught inside one of the pumpkins at the Halloween party." Albus frowned. "Though that's probably because we haven't had a Halloween party yet."  
  
"I devoutly hope that that particular story has never been told to Ron." said Minerva.  
  
"I think that the imaginations of Mr Malfoy and Mr Weasley are active enough without needing recourse to other's examples. Well, Minerva, Severus, I think that all we can do is hope that over the Easter holidays they settle down and things can go back to normal when the other students return."  
  
"They're staying here?" asked Severus, on a note of horror.  
  
"Yes, Malfoy was quite emphatic. He does not want to go home." Severus thought of Lucius's likely reaction to his son's recent antics, and concluded that, in his shoes, he would not go home either. Albus continued: "I understand from Virginia Weasley that they will be invited to The Burrow for dinner one evening." Severus thought of facing the Weasleys en masse, and was not certain that he wouldn't rather face Lucius.  
  
"So, let's just keep our eyes and ears open in case of further practical jokes, and otherwise stay out of it."  
  
----  
  
Any hopes the professors might have harboured that things would calm down over the next few days were cruelly smashed by a very public spat between Ron and Draco. In the entrance hall, after breakfast, Ron paused to confirm their regular arrangement to go for a walk. He found Draco looking uncharacteristically annoyed.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"That bloody Zabini. Told me that you and I are showing distinct signs of coupleness."  
  
"Well, I hate to have to point this out to you, but we have spent almost every night together for the last three weeks, which perhaps implies that we are a couple."  
  
"Aaargh! We are not a couple! We are not lovebirds, cooing and smoothing each other's feathers!"  
  
"Oh? I'm just a temporary, peripheral annoyance, then?"  
  
"Dammit, Weasley, don't put words into my mouth."  
  
"Fine, Malfoy, don't you think you should explain to me exactly what kind of relationship we have here, then?"  
  
"I don't know! And don't use that voice on me, you know I hate it."  
  
"Since you seem to be denying that I am your lover, I think it shouldn't matter to you what sort of voice I use."  
  
"I'm not denying it. Of course you're my lover, the whole damn school knows, right down to exactly how I like you to strip me naked, don't you think I'm feeling a little pressured here?"  
  
"You're pressured?! Of course, you're the only one who feels any kind of burden, aren't you?"  
  
"You're doing it again!"  
  
"What? Talking to you? Aren't I allowed to do that under the terms of our non-relationship?"  
  
"You're ignoring what I'm trying to say."  
  
"Then don't talk in riddles."  
  
"Fine. Weasley, how's this for direct. I want you. I want to be with you. But I don't want to be like every other goddamned smug, self-satisfied couple having a secure and boring relationship, showing signs of coupleness!"  
  
Ron grabbed Draco and kissed him furiously, then pulled back and stared down at him. "Does that feel secure and boring?" he snarled, shaking Draco. "What about this?" Ron's lips descended on Draco again, and Draco snarled back, kissing back with as much anger and passion as Ron. "Do you think I'm smug about this? Do you think I want to fade into humdrum domesticity?"  
  
"No!" shouted Draco. "I don't!"  
  
The kiss immediately changed, and became soft and sweet and tender. Ron gently smoothed Draco's hair back, gently cradled Draco against his body. For his part, Draco pressed against him and wrapped his arms tightly around Ron's body. Neither heard the wolf whistles from the crowd that was watching them. At last they pulled back, and Ron buried his face in Draco's hair, whispering softly in his ear: "We don't have to be like everybody else, Draco."  
  
"I know, I was just angry."  
  
"So was I."  
  
"Yeah, I could tell."  
  
"You're really sexy when you get angry."  
  
"Aren't I sexy all the time?"  
  
Ron's reply was halted by Seamus's excited voice behind them.  
  
"Hey, Ron, that was hot. You two have really fantastic fights." Without breaking apart they turned to look at Seamus, who was hopping from foot to foot in his enthusiasm. "Do you ever wrestle?"  
  
"Why would we want to answer that, Seamus?"  
  
"Because if you did wrestle, you could invite me to watch."  
  
"Is that supposed to be an reason in favour of us telling you, Finnigan?"  
  
Ron closed his eyes. When he opened them again he noticed the sizeable crowd that seemed to have gathered around them while they were arguing, and were now dispersing slowly, as if hoping that something more would happen. Seamus stepped a little closer and lowered his voice.  
  
"So... Have you done that thing with the strawberry syrup?" Ron just closed his eyes again, but snapped them back open as he heard Draco say:  
  
"Oh, yeah. I couldn't wait too long before fulfilling that little fantasy."  
  
"And?" Seamus was virtually panting with eagerness and anticipation.  
  
"And, it was so erotic that if I told you about it I would then have to drag Ron off somewhere and fuck him senseless before class, because even remembering it drives me wild."  
  
"What if you tell me about it after class?"  
  
"What if we act it out for you?" asked Draco, in his very best seductive voice.  
  
"Would you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"You're so hard-hearted." said Seamus, looking bitterly disappointed.  
  
Ron smirked, and leaned down to whisper in Draco's ear :"No, we're just-" His words were cut off by Draco's mouth, as he kissed him one more time before reluctantly disentangling himself.  
  
"Time for class." he announced. "I'll see you at the regular time, Ron."  
  
Seamus walked beside Ron to their first class. He kept looking at Ron and half opening his mouth, as if he wanted to say something.  
  
"What, Seamus?" snapped Ron, at last.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What do you want to ask me?"  
  
"Oh. Well. That. Hmm."  
  
"Just spit it out, Seamus."  
  
"Well, er. Has Malfoy really done that thing with strawberry syrup?"  
  
Ron favoured Seamus with a particularly quelling look.  
  
"Well, I'm curious."  
  
"Can't you find someone else to be curious about?"  
  
"Yeah, but there's just something about you and Malfoy together that just makes me go all hot and cold and shivery all over, you know."  
  
"I didn't need to hear that, Seamus."  
  
"Right. Er. So, tell me, what does he look like in opera length silk gloves and a dog collar?"  
  
"What? What do you know about that?"  
  
"You mean you've done that? I was just hopeful." Seamus looked up at Ron's forbidding face, and nervously scuttled into the classrooom. Ron followed.  
----  
The Slytherins had been strangely restrained lately, sometimes even stopping themselves from making embarrassing comments about the scene that had occurred when Filch found them in the trophy room. Ron had even begun to hope, faintly, that the Slytherins might have decided stop making fun of them.  
  
The day after the fight, Draco passed Ron in the corridor outside the library, and pulled him into a convenient niche. They both felt a funny little tingle as they disappeared from sight. Draco kissed Ron lingeringly on the lips.  
  
"Draco."  
  
"Yes, Ron." Draco kissed Ron's cheek, then trailed little kisses down his jaw.  
  
"We have class in two minutes."  
  
"I know." He now kissed Ron's nose, then his lips again.  
  
"So, we don't have time for this." But Ron couldn't help himself, he kissed Draco's forehead, then his nose, then his lips.  
  
"Just a few chaste kisses." Draco assured him, tilting his head up so that Ron could kiss his throat.  
  
"I know you, Malfoy. You'll have my clothes off me in another thirty seconds."  
  
"No, I'm being restrained." Draco kissed Ron's ear, then his cheekbone..  
  
"Oh, so this is just an affectionate interlude?" asked Ron, planting a tiny kiss on the corner of Draco's mouth.  
  
"Yep." Draco took Ron's hand from where it was lying on his waist, and kissed the inside of his wrist, then each fingertip on turn.  
  
"Ok, then." smiled Ron, taking Draco's hand in turn and kissing the palm before turning it over and dropping a courtly kiss on his knuckles. Draco smiled.  
  
"See you at the usual time for a walk."  
  
"I'll be looking forward to it."  
  
Draco kissed Ron one more time on the lips, then on the hand again, before stepping out of the alcove. The corridor was empty except for a bunch of Slytherins, who looked furtive and shifty, but didn't say anything, much to both Ron and Draco's surprise.  
  
Draco's next class was Transfiguration. He slid into his seat next to Crabbe and Goyle, who were gazing into each other's eyes and whispering. Draco slid one glance at them and looked quickly away. Someone would have to tell Crabbe that pink satin camisoles with little roses on the neckline were just not meant to go with hairy chests and partially unbuttoned checked shirts.   
  
As Professor McGonagall explained the transfiguration they would work on today, Draco noticed that he was getting watched, very covertly but intently, by the Slytherins. Pansy Parkinson was parctically making a nervous twitch out of the way she looked down at her book and then up at Draco. He ignored them and concentrated on the lecture.  
  
As he reached for his wand to perform the transfiguration, he noticed a red mark on his knuckles, and absently rubbed at it. It didn't shift. He frowned slightly, and took a closer look. The mark was growing steadily redder, and taking on the distinct shape of - no, it couldn't be - a pair of lips. Draco became aware of stifled giggles from the Slytherin side of the classroom, and looked up, frowning. The giggles coalesced into smirks, sneers, and derogatory laughter. Draco looked down at his hand again, then turned it over. A second red mark had formed on his palm. A nasty suspicion travelled through his mind and settled to churn in his stomach. Without needing to look, he could tell that each of the little kisses Ron had planted on his face just a few minutes before had turned red. The laughter from the Slytherins was spreading, and the Hufflepuffs were beginning to notice. A few of them began to giggle too. McGonagall noticed at last, and a pained expression crossed her face. She firmly restrained the urge to laugh, and managed to inject a severe note into her voice.  
  
"Mr Malfoy, you appear to have lip marks all over your face. Since I cannot imagine even you and Mr Weasley doing this for fun, I am led to the unfortunate conclusion that someone has hexed you." her gaze, outwardly calm, scanned the classroom. "I would like one of the Hufflepuffs, yes, Justin, you'll do, to go and find Mr Weasley. He should be having History of Magic right now. I would then like the student responsible to confess and reverse the charm."  
  
The entire class stared at McGonagall, then at Draco's face, now a delightful shade of pink with red lip marks as contrast. The titters and giggles redoubled, much to McGonagall's displeasure. Justin arrived back with Ron a few minutes later. Ron had been unluckier than Draco. History of Magic was so boring that the slow reddening of Ron's skin had been noticed almost immediately by the entire class, who then indulged in stifled giggles and sniggers and sidelong glances to their heart's content. Professor Binns noticed nothing, and droned on complacently. Seamus blatantly stared, and leaned over to ask how far the kisses went. Ron blushed pink from all the scrutiny, even though he could only see the ones on his hand. Justin's arrival had caused a slight stir, especially when he hissed a brief explanation to the nearest student, who passed word over all the classroom. Ron almost ran to the Transfiguration class, dreading meeting another student on the way, despite being aware that the story would be all over the school before the next class.  
  
Meanwhile, Professor McGonagall had got the whole story out of the Slytherins, who finally admitted that one of them had cast the charm on Draco and Ron as the pair had ducked into a niche. Professor McGonagall, while privately very amused by the incident, gave detentions to each Slytherin, except for Malfoy, the obvious victim, and Crabbe and Goyle, who had been snogging in the classroom at the time, their alibi verified by a sickened McGonagall herself. The charm was actually originally designed as an adultery detector - you could cast it on your partner when you suspected that they would be meeting a lover and all the traitorous marks would show up. It lasted for a day, unless lifted by the caster.   
  
"Who cast the spell?" asked McGonagall. The Slytherins looked at their feet and smirked.  
  
'A day without being able to kiss without coming out in red lip marks?' thought Malfoy in some alarm, momentarily distracted from the sniggers and giggles by the thought of not being able to kiss Ron, who arrived at that moment. McGonagall spoke with them briefly, then sent them off to Professor Flitwick's office. The Slytherin's continued to smirk and snigger as Ron and Draco left the room.  
  
Taking their usual afternoon 'walk' was out of the question since they were still under the effects of the charm. Draco turned up instead with his chess set, and they retreated to the Gryffindor common room, where everyone seemed torn between indignation at his presence and hilarity over their lip-printed faces. Draco and Ron fought hard over every square on the board, and the game, interrupted by dinner, finally stalemated at about 10pm. Draco leaned back in his chair, looking exhausted.   
  
"I haven't had anyone give me such a good game since I came to Hogwarts."  
  
"Where have I heard that said by those lips before?"  
  
"Don't tempt me, Weasley, or you'll have to spend half of tomorrow even redder than you are now."  
  
"You're so sexy when you're resisting me, Malfoy."  
  
"Don't think you can get round me by flattery either."  
  
"I only want to get on top of you, not round you."  
  
"Well, thanks to the evil minds of my housemates, you won't be going anywhere near me until tomorrow."  
  
Ron frowned, and looked down at the board where the queens and kings still glared at each other, unable to move.  
  
"I've been thinking" he said slowly, "of a good way to pay back your housemates."  
  
"Fantastic. Will it involve lots of pain and humiliation?"  
  
"Definitely humiliation."  
  
"Great. Are you going to share?"  
  
"Of course."  
----  
  
The Revenge, as Ron and Draco called it, was prepared quickly, so they could do it before the Easter holidays. It required some serious potion brewing and some magical modifications to walls in various common rooms. Draco and Ron had debated long and hard over the trustworthiness of their accomplices, but eventually everything was in place. Seamus had demanded a description of the strawberry syrup scene in exchange for his involvement, which they had eventually promised to provide for him after The Revenge, and close attention to the other recent victims of Slytherin attempts at humour, plus some judicious bribery, had provided the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff accomplices.  
  
In the Slytherin Common Room, Draco turned up with some bottles that definitely didn't look like butterbeer, and proposed burying the hatchet with his housemates. When asked, rather sneeringly, by Pansy Parkinson, where 'his beloved Weasel' was, Draco put on an aggrieved face and said he was doing homework with that appalling mudblood Granger. Everyone cast off suspicion, and took a healthy slug from the various bottles, except for Crabbe, Goyle and Draco, who carefully drank only from their own bottles. At last, when the defences of the Slytherins were down low enough not to suspect subterfuge, Crabbe and Goyle suggested a game of Truth or Dare. Slurred enthusiasm was evident, and the fun began. No one noticed that Draco had absented himself. In fact, he was present, with a kind of magical video camera under Harry's invisibility cloak (liberated for the evening by Ron). He watched with delight as the effects of the Total Uninhibition and Truth Potions became evident.  
  
"Truth or Dare?" asked Crabbe. Millicent Bullstrobe thought for a few moments.   
  
"Dare." she said, at last.  
  
"I dare you to pretend that chair is Severus Snape and make love to it." Millicent promptly crawled over to the chair and began licking the bottom of the leg in an unrefined and distinctly unerotic sort of way. She worked her way up until she was pressed against the chair, and began to rub her large body against it, uttering moans and little pants of "Oh, yes, Professor, yes." At last the chair fell over backward and she collapsed on the floor on top of it. She crawled back over to the group and took another large gulp of Uninhibiting and Truth causing vodka.  
  
"Truth or Dare?" she asked Blaise Zabini.  
  
"Truth." he said in a very bored sort of way.  
  
"What would you do if you had Hermione Granger handcuffed naked to your bed?"  
  
"Well, started Blaise, showing more enthusiasm, "first, I'd take off all my clothes, because it would be too difficult otherwise. And then I'd climb onto the wardrobe opposite the bed, clutching a feather duster, and leap off onto the bed, shouting 'Geronimo!'." He paused for a few moments, lost in pleasurable contemplation. "Then, I'd rub her all over with the feather duster, my special pink and green one, then rub her again all over with my come, since I don't think I'd be able to last very long at the sight of my feathery friend sliding around all those lovely curves, and then I'd just fuck her senseless all night." He sighed, and drifted off into the rest of the fantasy with a wistful smile.  
  
"Truth or Dare?" Goyle asked Pansy Parkinson, since Blaise was incapable of speech.  
  
"Dare." she replied, still a little weak with merriment, swallowing more of her drink.  
  
"I dare you to rub yourself all over with Blaise's feather duster." he said, summoning it from it's place on Blaise's bed.  
  
Pansy stroked the duster lingeringly and gently caressed her face with it. Then she drew it down her body, undoing the buttons on her robe as she went, until she could slip it off her shoulders. The duster continued to move in small circles over Pansy's thighs as she slowly brought it back up her body. She slid the straps of her dress down, and stripped to her petticoat, never stopping the movement of the duster. Blaise had returned to awareness now, and was staring at the show she was putting on with his mouth open. At last he snapped, and dragged her to the floor, the duster pressed between them as he kissed her and attempted to pull off his robes in a hurry.   
  
"Oh, yes, Hermione, let me touch you with my magic feather, let me cast my spell on you, you know you'll love it when I-" His voice was cut off as the duster slipped and jammed in his mouth. Pansy was writhing beneath him.  
  
"Oh, Neville, you know it feels so good when you tear my clothes off and - arrgh! - oh, gods yes, Neville, you demigod of porn, you know how I like it..."  
  
Millicent began wordlessly taking off her clothes and rubbing against the chair again, and Crabbe and Goyle were already snogging on the couch. At this point, Draco stopped the camera and slipped out of the Common Room, torn between a desire to laugh until he cried and an equally strong desire to be violently sick. He had left the bottle of doctored (with a memory erasing potion, effective from twelve hours before consuming the potion to one hour afterward) hangover cure in a prominent spot, and he knew that Crabbe and Goyle would, if they stopped making out long enough to remember, force feed everyone a dose. Draco made his way to his bedroom where Ron would join him.  
  
Meanwhile, in the other Common Rooms, the accomplices had been busy. At the signal, they had activated the screens on the walls, helped the prefects to herd the younger students into their dormitories, and provided popcorn. They remained alert for anyone who looked like they were going to be sick, casting anti-nausea charms when necessary. The older students watched the entire thing torn between shock and indecent laughter.  
  
Having coordinated the activation and deactivation of the screens, Ron made his way to Draco's room and found him on the bed in the dark.   
  
"That was great." he enthused, sliding onto the bed and bouncing gently. "Although Hermione and Neville will probably never speak to me again." Draco sat up and kissed him, very gently, easing him back onto the bed. He pushed Ron's arms up, out of the way, and suddenly Ron felt some metal round each wrist and a small click. He tried to pull away from Draco, but it was too late. Draco sat up, and lit the candles with a wave of his wand, drinking in Ron's incredulous face as he pulled against the handcuffs.  
  
"Don't pull against them, Weasley, you'll just rub your wrists raw, and I wouldn't want you to do that until you've really got a reason for it." He used another spell to remove Ron's clothes, and soon they were both naked in the moon and candlelight.  
  
"What's all this for, Malfoy?"  
  
"Since we've got to tell Finnigan about the strawberry syrup scene, I thought we'd better do it again to refresh our memories."  
  
"But you didn't tie me up, last time."  
  
"No, and you squirmed so much the effect was ruined and the house elves gave me a lecture about ruining my sheets. This time -" he pushed Ron's thighs apart to sit between them, and pinned his knees with a charm, "-I want to make sure the experience is perfect."  
  
"Any experience with you is perfect." Ron's voice was throaty, and he had grasped the bed rail with his hands to steady himself.  
  
"Well, this will be more perfect than normal." Draco's smile was pure evil, as he reached for a small bowl containing a tiny metal spoon. "You know what comes next, don't you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Tell me."  
  
"The syrup trails from one freckle to another like running drops of fire..."  
  
"Like this?"   
  
Ron tried to squirm ineffectually. "Yes, like that." he gasped as the tiny spoon made contact with a freckle on his neck and slowly trailed syrup to one on his collarbone. Draco continued to apply the syrup, his face a mask of concentrated desire as he created tiny pink paths over Ron's chest and stomach.   
  
"Do you know what you look like?" asked Draco.  
  
"No..."  
  
"I'll have to tell you then." Draco paused in his ministrations, drawing an immediate protest from Ron. "You look like the strawberry ripple ice-cream I once had in Muggle London. It was a hot day, and it melted all over me. I had to keep licking it off my chin, off my hands, off my nose... it was wonderful, so sweet and light on my tongue." He picked up his little spoon again and made a small link on Ron's thigh, again concentrating fully on his task. Draco ran the small lines of pink all over Ron's inner thighs, ignoring, with an effort, Ron's little twitches and rapid breaths. At last, he put down the bowl and surveyed his handiwork. His smile was possessive and dangerous as he reached out one finger to rescue a small drop that was trying to run into Ron's belly button. He sucked the finger into his mouth and groaned at the taste of Ron mingled with the taste of strawberry and sugar.  
  
"You taste like sweetness and salt and summer days and irresistable sex." he growled. "You know what comes next."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Tell me."  
  
"You lick it off."  
  
"How do I lick it?"  
  
"Slowly, oh so slowly, like you're drawing sustenance from my body."  
  
"And then?"  
  
"And then you nibble up any little bits you've missed, and then, if I'm really lucky, you finally get round to giving me what I want."  
  
"Which would be...?"  
  
"You. Anyway you'll take me."  
  
"I'm delighted, as always, to oblige you."  
  
"Then stop using that mouth for talking."  
  
Draco lowered his head slowly to the highest point of syrup on Ron's neck, and followed it down. He roved over Ron's body in an erratic pattern, almost as erratic as Ron's breathing underneath him.  
  
"Gods- Draco, more."  
  
"More what?"  
  
"Use your teeth."  
  
"Like this?" a slow scrape of teeth over sensitive flesh was met by a hiss of agreement. Draco gripped Ron's hips as his tongue and teeth traced over Ron's thighs, and Ron thrust his hips up as much as he could, given his restrained position. Draco was slowly losing it, and he barely had enough control, when finally finished with the syrup, to prepare Ron carefully. Ron was incoherent against the sheets, hands gripping the bed rails with desperately clenched fingers, mouth gasping as he pled with Draco to take him. Despite Draco's best attempts at slowness, it was over quickly for them both. He released Ron from the spell restraints and the handcuffs, and was pulled down for a slow kiss.  
  
"We're going to tell Seamus about that?" Ron's voice was sleepy and dazed.  
  
"That was the deal."  
  
"He'll explode."  
  
"Probably." Draco kissed Ron and curled around him. "But probably so will we."  
  
"Still, talking about it won't be as great as actually being in it."  
  
"Hell no, and if he thinks he's ever going to see it live he's got another thing coming."  
  
"Bad choice of words, as Seamus would say." Ron's voice continued to fade, and he kissed Draco one more time they drifted off to sleep, wrapped securely around each other.  
----  
  
Breakfast the next morning was a riotous affair. Crabbe and Goyle had broken off their torrid lovemaking enough to give each traumatised player a draught of hangover cure, and by the time they had showered and dressed all memory of the night before had been erased, along with their hangover. They walked down to breakfast in a group, completely back to their public selves. The accomplices had warned everyone, very discreetly, that the Slytherins had been memory charmed by the Professors, who considered their behaviour a disgrace to the school, so there was no point actually asking them questions. Therefore, nobody did. They just watched from a distance, laughed, pointed, and quoted bits. The Professors were suspicious, but unable to pin down what had happened to cause all this hilarity.  
  
Ron was right, neither Neville or Hermione seemed to want to talk to him, even when he apologised for their inadvertant involvement.  
  
"Look, how was I to know that your names would come up?" he asked, in exasperation.   
  
"Yes," drawled Draco in agreement, "I had no idea that my housemates had torrid fantasies about either of you."  
  
"You're not helping here, Malfoy."  
  
"Would it help if I added my heartfelt apologies to Ron's?"  
  
"Nothing will help."  
  
Ron gave up. He and Draco were thoroughly enjoying the Slytherin reaction to The Revenge, even though the Slytherins themselves had no idea what was going on, or why everyone was staring at them, or why they had these peculiar bruises everywhere, or, in Pansy's case, feathers where there shouldn't be any feathers. Watching the rest of the school was equally amusing, as many students were quite inventive in their reactions. Hermione and Neville came in for a fair bit of heavy handed sympathy, which didn't do anything to stop them both from a strong feeling of ill usage. Ron had noticed, however, some speculative glances in Neville's direction. Ron and Draco ate breakfast together that morning, linking their hands under the table and smiling with the unmistakeable glow of those who have righteously avenged themselves and indulged in eminently satisfying sex.   
  
Just as satisfying was the aftermath of the strawberry syrup story, which they had told to Seamus in the Gryffindor Common Room before breakfast. He had been left dazed and speechless, and had created a miniture diversion by immediately pouncing on Harry as he foolishly walked past, suspecting nothing. Harry had been to shocked to respond, then had, to everyone's surprise, kissed back. Seamus, having had two devastating experiences that morning, promptly fell over, and was even now incapable of talking.  
  
Life was good, mused Ron, feeling Draco's hand on his thigh. Life was great. He smiled brilliantly at Draco, and a shaft of light from the high windows enveloped them as they shared a tender kiss. Life was great. Life was just how it should be.  
----  
  
There you go, Taiorami, I wrote the strawberry syrup scene. I hope you like it. Yes, there'll be more Seamus and we will fully explore what's going on with Harry's mind too. There'll be something weird and twisted, don't worry. Next chapter will contain the Weasley family too, in all their technicolour glory. Ha, I bet the twins are dreaming up something nasty. Again, thanks for all reviews, and all signed reviews will be responded to by reviews of your stories - if I can find you. I can't find some of you in the authors directory. Sorry about that.  
I hope to get the next chapter out next week, before I go on holiday for two months and then to a new job in a new city. 200 points to your house if you can guess what my job is. 500 points if you can guess where I'm travelling (hint, it's the same country as I live in, but the country I live in is not the same as the one I was born and grew up in. It's a big country).  
  
  
----  



	4. the weasleys - en masse and terrifying

Disclaimers as for previous chapters. Thanks and responses at the bottom.  
----  
  
Ron and Draco had been invited to Hagrid's for afternoon tea, so they set off from the castle early. Draco pulled Ron behind a convenient tree halfway there and kissed him passionately. Ron kissed back, hands settling on Draco's hips to pull him close enough to thrust against. Draco gasped into Ron's mouth and thrust back, grinding their hips together hard.  
  
"Today was torture." Draco breathed into Ron's ear.  
  
"Worse than normal?"  
  
"Much worse."  
  
"Why's that?"  
  
"Halfway through the second class I had this sudden, debilitating vision of you wearing riding boots, carrying a whip and holding a chain running from my dog collar, taking me from behind while I was gagged and on all fours. In front of a mirror."  
  
"Let's forget about afternoon tea at Hagrid's."  
  
"That would be rude."  
  
"Not as rude as me not being able to talk because all I can think of is fucking you."  
  
"Do you want to fuck me like that?"  
  
"What sort of stupid question is that? I could screw you into the tree right here."  
  
Ron recaptured Draco's mouth with his, and ran his hands inside his robe, fingers rough on the hard nipples, nails rasping down his sides, making Draco squirm in a most satisfying and inflaming way. Draco's hands were everywhere, up the back of Ron's thighs, over his quivering stomach, stroking the back of his neck and the front of his pants simultaneously. Ron gasped and thrust into the hand that was stroking far too softly to assuage him. He pulled Draco hard against him, and they thrust into each other with passion, mouths locked together. Draco was about to unbutton Ron's jeans when an all-to-familiar shriek interrupted them. Ron sighed and leant his head back against the tree.  
  
"Hello, Hermione and Harry. Are you on your way to Hagrid's for afternoon tea, too?"  
  
"What do you mean, 'too'?" demanded Harry. "It doesn't look like you were going anywhere."  
  
"Except down." murmured Draco, causing Ron to blush, but fortunately his friends didn't hear.  
  
"Well, we have been invited, so we are going." said Ron, hurriedly.  
  
"But you thought you'd just get each other off behind a tree on the way."  
  
"Your observation astounds me, Potter. I imagine you didn't think we were going to do it in Hagrid's cabin, did you?" Draco stepped away from the tree, taking Ron's hand as he turned toward Hagrid's hut. Harry and Hermione trailed behind them, Hermione still slightly speechless with shock and Harry glowering.  
  
Hagrid was welcoming as always. Fang had taken a great liking to Draco, who, in turn, very creditably didn't wince as his robes were slobbered over. Fang sat in front of Draco and Ron, drooling on each of them in turn, and they idly patted his head. Harry sat in a disgruntled heap as far away from them as he could get, and Hermione helped Hagrid make the tea, just to give herself something to do.  
  
"Why can't you see he's just using you for sex?" shouted Harry suddenly, causing Hermione to drop the milk jug she was holding. Draco gazed at him with utter boredom on his face, and Ron just gaped.  
  
"What?" he breathed weakly.  
  
"It's so obvious! For years he hates you, torments you, picks on you mercilessly, and then he suddenly changes and you two are together. It defies reason." Harry continued raving: "Malfoy, just what evil, twisted scheme is this part of?"  
  
"Harry, for gods sake, stop, your face is turning purple." Hermione pleaded. Harry continued unabated for a few more moments, until Hagrid showed great decisiveness and shoved a lump of treacle toffee between Harry's teeth, which effectively glued his jaws shut. Hagrid pushed Harry into a seat, where he continued to fume impotently, and served tea to the others.   
  
"Harry," said Ron, in a very even voice, "what makes you think that this is just sexual?"  
  
"Magnificent as I undoubtedly am."  
  
"Yes, yes, Malfoy, it should be obvious that I like to fuck you. It's not like I haven't broken down that Slytherin subtlety, either, so the whole school knows just how fantastic I am. But it should also be obvious that there's more to this than that."  
  
"Weasley, if I were subtle around you, I'd never get any. But I agree, there's more to this than just sex."  
  
"I don't understand why you're so upset, Harry."  
  
"Has it occured to you, Potter, that you might be jealous?"  
  
Harry fought against the toffee and wrenched his teeth apart. "Jealous?" he shrieked, "You think I might be jealous of you? Well, I'm not! And I'll prove it!"  
  
Harry ran from Hagrid's cabin, followed by a very nervous Hermione, a still startled Ron, and a mildly amused Draco. Hagrid watched them go with a slow shake of his head, and shut the door behind them. They followed Harry almost all the way back to Hogwarts. He only stopped his headlong rush when he saw Dean and Seamus walking back from the Owlery. Harry ran over to Seamus, grabbed him, and kissed him furiously. Seamus didn't seem to know what to do, and the little squirms and squeaks he made could have been interpreted as either pleasure or resistance. Harry evidently took them as pleasure, because he showed no signs of stopping. At last, Harry pulled back. Seamus, overwhelmed, fell down immediately. Harry looked round at the others, who looked a little shell-shocked, except for Draco, who was smiling slightly, his arm around Ron. Harry wordlessly dragged Seamus to his feet and virtually frogmarched the dazed boy inside.  
  
"Oh, my." breathed Hermione. "That was a bit extreme." Dean Thomas stared at his shoes, then at the sky, and Ron turned to his lover incredulously.  
  
"Well," said Draco, with a satisfied air, "For someone who isn't jealous, he seems to have made a very interesting choice in the person he proves it with."   
  
"We should go to the Common Room to find out what's happened." said Ron, a bit faintly.  
  
"What do you mean, 'find out'? If you can't guess, I must have been doing something wrong all these weeks, Weasley."  
  
"My room mates..."  
  
"Yes, well, I can imagine that you'd rather think of other people. Me, for example."  
  
"Malfoy, it's a good thing you're a wizard, I don't think your ego could fit into Muggle clothes."  
  
Draco looked at Ron with reproach. "I'm just healthily self confident. And with very good, not to mention sizeable, reason to be."   
  
Ron smiled at him, and leaned down to whisper in his ear: "Malfoy, it's not just your ego that would be strained by confinement in Muggle clothes."  
  
"I love it when you praise my attributes."  
  
"That's not all I plan to do to your attributes."  
  
As they spoke the small group trailed inside, up the stairs and along corridors to Gryffindor Tower. As Dean was climbing inside the portrait hole a frantic figure collided with him in it's haste to escape something. Dean picked himself and the other up. It was Neville Longbottom, wearing the kind of traumatised expression that came apon him when Professor Snape noticed something amiss with his potion. Neville flung himself onto Dean's chest, and buried his face. Dean's arms circled Neville automatically, and the others came inside quickly, eager to hear what had caused Neville's distress.  
  
"Seamus... Harry..." he sobbed. "It was awful..."  
  
"It's ok, Neville, you can tell us." encouraged Hermione. Dean noticed that they were getting alot of strange looks, and remembered that people were beginning to mutter that the boys' seventh year dorm was cursed, since all this strange behaviour started happening. Dean didn't need people to think he had hooked up with Neville. Especially not after the Slytherin Truth or Dare fiasco.  
  
"We should go somewhere else." he suggested.   
  
"My room." said Hermione immediately, leading them, Neville still crying, up the stairs to her room. They settled in, Ron pulling Draco down to sit next to him on the bed. Hermione directed a severe glance at them, hoping they would resist the urge to make out. She had to sleep in that bed, after all, and she didn't want any visuals of Draco and Ron. Dean settled Neville a comfy chair, and Hermione handed him a cup of hot chocolate. He drank, slowly calming down enough to be able to speak coherently.  
  
"I was in the room, having a sleep before dinner. I'd just woken up, but was still pretty dozy when the door opened. I heard Harry say something about it being good there was no one else there, and then the door shut. I heard Harry again, and he said... He said that the other person should tell him all about his deepest Ron and Draco fantasy." Neville shuddered and paused before continuing: "And then I heard Seamus's voice. And Seamus did start to describe a Draco and Ron fantasy. I had to get out of there. I slipped through the door, but not before I saw Harry stripping Seamus naked, Seamus rapturously describing what Ron and Draco would look like wrestling in green jelly full of pineapple chunks, wooden clothespegs and small blue plastic animals." Neville began to cry again. "It was awful. Terrible. I don't think I'll ever be able to rid my mind of it."  
  
Hermione and Dean looked deeply sympathetic, though it was obvious that both felt a bit ill too. Ron felt sickened.  
  
"Two people, both my dorm mates, obsessing about me. I don't need this." he muttered. Draco pulled Ron to his feet and bundled him out the door, leaving Hermione and Dean to comfort Neville as best they could. Ron was silent on the way to Draco's room.  
  
He lay back on Draco's bed, and Draco stretched out beside him, letting Ron's head rest on his chest. At last Ron spoke.  
  
"We'll have to hope that they get over this- this- whatever it is, by the end of the holidays. There's only three days to go. Seamus will go to Ireland, and Harry will go to Sirius." Draco agreed.  
  
"Are you still staying at school?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah." Ron looked troubled. "But, hmm, well. Draco?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"We've been invited to The Burrow for dinner."  
  
"We've what?"  
  
"Been invited to The Burrow for dinner."  
  
Draco sagged back on the bed. "Main course, Flame-grilled Malfoy." he said, hollowly.  
  
"No, my mum promises that it will be a civilised affair."  
  
"They won't roast me alive then, but slit my throat first."  
  
"Would you rather not go?"  
  
"No, I want to go. I want to meet your family." he sighed. "Not much point both of us being disinherited."  
  
"Have you heard from your family lately?"  
  
"No news is good news, when it comes to them."  
  
"Yeah, well, I've sometimes wished I could put a 'no news' charm on my family."  
  
"What does your mother like?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"What does your mother like? I have to buy a gift for my hostess. It is done, in polite society."  
  
"You won't consider it polite society by the time you've been there two minutes."  
  
"Think of it as a bribe, then. She won't let your brothers kill me if I've given her something nice."  
  
"I won't let my brothers kill you."  
  
"My hero." Draco sighed. "Give me a kiss. It's getting to something when I have to ask for one."  
  
Ron rolled to face his lover, and kissed him until they were both panting, and no thoughts of familial approval or disapproval were in their minds. In fact, judging by the little pleas for more, faster, harder that were escaping Draco as Ron tore his clothes off him and pushed him back on the bed, family was the last thing on his mind. Ron smiled ferally down at him as he took Draco hard, losing control as Draco squirmed and whimpered and talked in a never ending stream of mixed curses and endearments. They collapsed together on the bed, sweaty and tangled and sated. Ron rolled away at last and gathered Draco into his side.  
  
"If any of my family think they're going to have a chance to upset someone who calls me his 'fiery exquisite with skin like angel silk and a mouth like the sweetest sort of devil' they've got another thing coming."  
  
"Weasley, what have I told you about remembering the things I say in the heat of passion?"  
  
"Malfoy, who was it who quoted me to Hermione last week when she said she didn't understand what I saw in you?"  
  
"I wouldn't quote you if you didn't say such endearingly, outrageously hot things. Not that I can repeat all of them. It would make me blush."  
  
"You'd better not slip up and quote me in front of my family."  
  
"I'll be to terrified to do anything but cling to you in front of your family."  
  
"Bad image, Malfoy."  
  
"You love playing the protective type, don't you?"  
  
"I am the protective type."  
  
"Funny, I never thought I'd like it."  
  
"Yeah, well, I never thought I'd like the exhibitionist type either."  
  
"No way are you going to get away with pinning that on me! You can't keep your hands off me, Weasley."  
  
"Well, maybe I never thought I'd be the exhibitionist type, either."  
  
"Just curb it in front of your family, ok? I don't want to give them an excuse to tie me down and beat me with Muggle Protection Statutes."  
  
Ron kissed Draco with reassurance. "Relax. My family will realise that this is important to me, and won't kill you. Even the twins."  
  
"Am I important to you, Ron?"  
  
"Yes, you are."  
  
"I'm glad I'm important to someone."  
  
"Well, your family can sod off. You are really important to me, understand?"  
  
Draco squirmed further into Ron's side. "Thanks, Ron. You're important to me too. So, so important."  
  
"And my family will like you once they've got used to you, I'm certain. Though Dad will probably be disappointed that your parents aren't Muggles."  
  
"He'll be thrilled at the chance to get the secrets of Malfoy Manor out of me."  
  
"I doubt he'll ask the first time he meets you. Civilised, remember?"  
  
  
----  
  
It took Draco about thirty seconds to decide that it wasn't polite society. They had travelled from Hogsmeade by Floo Powder. Ginny had gone home at the beginning of the holidays, so it would be just the two of them stepping out of the fireplace into a ring of questioning eyes. Ron went first, Draco close behind. They stepped from the fireplace almost simultaneously, and Draco felt the urge to hide behind Ron as he took in the expectant hush and the almost overwhelming number of red heads in the kitchen. Five older brothers, all home for the occasion, one younger sister, and parents. Draco gulped nervously. Ron looked nervous too, and his voice shook a little.  
  
"Hi, everyone. This is Draco Malfoy. Draco, you know most of them, but these are my parents-" Draco shook hands with Arthur and exchanged strained smiles with Molly, "and these are my eldest brothers, Bill and Charlie." He shook hands with them too. Draco suddenly remembered the box he had clutched in his other hand, and, without stepping out from behind Ron, handed it to Molly.  
  
"Mrs Weasley, thanks so much for your hospitality." His voice was shaking slightly too, dammit. She took the box and smiled, a little more relaxed.   
  
"You shouldn't thank me for it too soon. This lot will probably make you think I dragged my kids up through a hedge backward." She opened the box and took out the flowers - he had spent ages trying to choose the perfect flower - then the chocolates. She thanked him, then dismissed everyone from the kitchen. Ron and Draco tried to trail out last, but somehow they were hustled into the lounge in the middle of the family and pushed down onto the sofa. Draco sat very close to Ron, as if in need of reassurance. Ron pressed up against him just as much, obviously still nervous about this. The rest of the Weasleys surrounded them, and Draco had a horrible moment of claustrophobia. Everyone was staring at them, and Ron could see Draco's eyes starting to glaze with fear.  
  
"So, hmm. Fred, George, how's the shop?"  
  
"Just fine."  
  
"Got some new plans underway."  
  
"Yeah? Like what?"  
  
"Like strawberry syrup that doesn't stain." Both twins laughed uproariously at the blushes that flooded Ron and Draco's faces.  
  
"And a recording pillow." gasped the other twin, and now everyone started to giggle, and soon were rolling on the floor with mirth as they thought of all the things that the twins could invent for their shop. Ron and Draco sat in silence, faces very pink, but relieved that everyone seemed more amused than angry. If they were laughing there wasn't much chance that they would want to murder either of them. At last Ron and Draco smiled reluctantly at the jokes that flew back and forth.  
  
By the time dinner was served things were more relaxed, and the Weasleys had unbent enough for Fred and George to ask several questions about The Revenge on the Slytherins, and for Percy to give a lecture on breaking the school rules. At dinner things were relaxed enough for Charlie to chat fairly amicably with a still slightly inarticulate Draco about Quidditch, and even Arthur began to relax, having seen that Draco was not attempting to drag his son into Voldemort's service.  
  
They retired back to the lounge after dinner, and things went well until Ron had to excuse himself to go to the bathroom. Fear returned to Draco's eyes, especially when the twins came to sit on either side of him, Bill and Charlie settling near too.  
  
"We have to say something, Malfoy."  
  
"Yeah, I mean, he is our brother."  
  
"So, we just want you to know-"  
  
"Yes, my intentions are honourable!" broke in Draco, somewhat nervously. "I have no desire to break his heart or turn him onto the Dark Arts or anything like that."  
  
They all laughed, and for a hideous moment Draco thought they were going to drag him outside and beat him with some peculiar muggle object. He had seen several muggle objects since he had arrived, and they all looked far more sinister than any of the Dark Arts paraphernalia that his father had lying round..  
  
"No, no, nothing like that." gasped Bill. "It's just that we had a bet on when Ron would lose his virginity. The one who was closest to correct would get to order the others round for the day."  
  
"You had a bet on Ron's deflowerment?"  
  
"Yep. You got the book, Charlie?"  
  
"Right here." He leafed through it to the correct page. "We made this bet when he was in fourth year. Hmm, Percy's in on it too."  
  
"Percy, come over here. We're going to check who won the bet." Charlie ran his finger down the page.  
  
"Let's see - Bill, 21; Charlie, 19; Percy, 17; Fred, 22; George, 23." He looked up, astounded. "Well, I guess that makes you the winner, Percy. I thought at the time you were being a bit too optimistic, but obviously not."  
  
"Congratulations, Percy."  
  
"Yeah, good for you. Just don't choose to make us listen to your lecture on the standardisation of wand measurements, or the application of the metric system to potions brewing."  
  
Draco opened and closed his mouth a few times, stunned. "Did you have bets like this on each other, too?"  
  
"Sure. We have bets on all sorts of things. We had one on who Ron's first partner would be, but no one even came close to picking you. Fred and George thought it would be Harry, though, so I guess they get the prize for gender"  
  
Ron returned at that moment, to see a lost looking Draco surrounded by his older brothers. He immediately pushed his way through, and ordered them to leave Draco alone. Charlie whispered to Bill that they should have had a bet on whether Ron would be the overprotective type, and started to leaf through the book in case there was another bet that should be sorted out now.  
  
Ron and Draco were supposed to go back to Hogwarts that night, but the fireplace developed a suspicious blockage, so everyone would have to stay the night. Mrs Weasley looked speculatively at Fred and George, but they denied that they had done anything to block the chimney. Arrangements were made, and Draco found himself in a room at the bottom of the house, having had no more time than to say goodnight and share a chaste and selfconscious kiss with Ron that caused an outburst of whistles and laughter from the family and caused them both to turn bright pink again.  
  
The house was quiet when Ron slipped out of his bedroom at the very top of the house and prepared to sneak into Draco's room. He wrapped a blanket around himself, hiding his hair, and started stealthily down the first flight of stairs. He froze on the second floor landing when he heard voices from his parent's room. The voices were muffled and sleepy, but he used extra caution down the next flight of stairs avoiding the creaky third stair. On the bottom floor there were two bedrooms: Bill and Charlie's room, and, next to it, the spare room that Draco was sleeping in. He opened the door very, very quietly and slipped inside. Bill, who had been watching out for this, crossed the hall and put a quick locking spell on the door.  
  
"Ha! I told them that Ron would do it." He made his way upstairs to gloat in triumph over the twins.  
  
Ron crossed to the bed. Draco jumped about a foot in the air, and shrank back until he realised who it was.  
  
"Gods, Ron, you startled me. I thought it was one of your brothers come to dispel the sweetness and light with a few kicks or something."  
  
"Really, Draco," protested Ron, as he slipped under the covers and held him close, "You don't have to be so nervous. They've been perfectly nice to you, haven't they?"  
  
"Yeah." sighed Draco, wrapping around Ron. "It's the calm before the storm."  
  
"Rubbish. As if they'd do anything that would upset me. And beating you up would upset me alot."  
  
"My family is more likely to do something because it would upset or punish me."  
  
"We aren't visiting your family."  
  
"Thank the gods."  
  
Ron kissed Draco softly, feeling him start to relax. Ron kissed him again, smoothing the blonde hair back with his fingertips before letting them run down Draco's neck.  
  
"We have to be very quiet. My brothers are just next door."  
  
"You're the noisy one, Weasley."  
  
"Aha. You just believe what you want to about that. I know the truth."  
  
They kissed again, more passionately, and Ron slid his hands over Draco's bare chest, loving the way the skin shifted over muscles and under fingers. He kissed Draco's neck and gently brushed Draco's stomach with his fingertips.  
  
"Hmm, you know just how I want this, don't you?"  
  
"Tell me, make sure I've got it completely right."  
  
"I want you to touch me so gently, run your fingers over me as if they are the lightest thistledown. It makes my skin so sensitive, I can feel you all the way through me..." Draco's voice died away as Ron's fingers drifted higher. "Oh, yes...That's perfect." he continued, on a breathy little moan.  
  
"Shh. What do you want me to do to you?"  
  
"Anything you want."  
  
"This?" One hand drifted lower to play over Draco's erection.  
  
"Oh, yes, please... More of that would be heaven."  
  
"Shall I keep touching you so gently?" Draco's hips thrust up into Ron's hands.  
  
"Touch me however you like. Just don't stop." Draco submitted to Ron's hands and mouth, and the only sounds for a long time were their whimpers and stifled moans, until Draco thought he heard voices at the door. They paused to listen  
  
Outside the door Bill turned to Fred, George and Charlie in triumph.   
  
"I told you he'd sneak down here, didn't I?"  
  
"Yes, ok, Bill. You were right."  
  
"Who'd have thought that Ron would be so daring?"  
  
"Well, he is a Weasley. We are known for our skill between the sheets."  
  
"Or on the astronomy tower." They tried hard to stifle their laughter.  
  
"I wonder if they've tried the old greenhouse, that was weird."  
  
"Shall we go in and frighten them?"  
  
"Nah, they might scream, and then we'd have to explain to Mum what we were doing here."  
  
"Ron would have to explain why he was in bed at the other end of the house."  
  
"He might not be in bed. Or, at least, not under the blankets."  
  
"All the more reason to leave them to it.I don't need to see that."  
  
"Ok, guys, we're Percy's slaves for tomorrow, but after that you're mine, ok?"  
  
"Oh, but wouldn't you rather we were all yours tonight?" they chorused, pressing round him, cheeky freckled hands burrowing up the inside of his loose shirt, running down his thighs, red hair tickling his cheek as a kiss was pressed into his neck. Bill attempted a protest, but was stifled by a soft tongue invading his mouth.  
  
"Alright then, slave boys, back to my room."  
  
A shocked Draco looked at a very stunned Ron, who collapsed bonelessly on the bed.  
  
"That was something I didn't need to know about my family. Ew. My parents want lots of grandchildren, so I hope like hell that at least Percy and Ginny turn out straight. Or that some of the others are bisexual."  
  
"Ron, I think I like your family."  
  
"You're so sweet."  
  
"I'm trying to get into your pants."  
  
"Uh, Draco, I'm not wearing any pants."  
  
"Then I'll just have to try to get inside you."  
  
"What are you waiting for?"  
  
Draco kissed Ron, rolled him onto his back, and proceeded to drive him wild with hands that roamed everywhere, lips that searched out every spot of sensitive skin. Ron brokenly pled for more, and Draco happily gave. Then Ron returned the favour, until dawn streaked the sky.  
----  
  
Breakfast was an interesting meal. Ron had discovered the locking charm when he tried to return to his own room, and just managed to wake up one of his brothers without waking up everyone else.  
  
"Why should I let you out, Ronniekins?" teased Bill.  
  
"Because if you don't I'll tell everyone about what being your slave involves."  
  
"You heard that?"  
  
"You weren't exactly quiet and discreet."  
  
Bill opened the door, and Ron emerged just as Fred and George stumbled from the other room. Draco leant against the doorframe, a mild smirk on his lips.  
  
"I don't think there'll be any problems with me fitting in, after all." Ron turned and gave him a long kiss, a kiss of leisurely expertise.  
  
"Wow."  
  
"I think we've been underestimating our baby brother."  
  
Ron smiled in triumph, and strolled off. Everything went well until he thoughtlessly trod on the third step, which creaked noisily. They all heard Molly's voice call out interogatively, and looked at each other in horror.  
  
"We haven't been underestimating him."  
  
Molly and Arthur didn't really believe their story about having a midnight feast, all of them together, and sleeping in the same room, but they stuck to the story. Molly bade Draco and Ron farewell almost fondly, and asked them to write regularly to keep the family updated. She promised to double Ron's treat parcels now that there were two people to share them. Draco was still a bit dazed that there had been no scenes, no broken bones, not even any threats: and Arthur Weasley hadn't once asked where the Malfoy Dark Arts Collection was kept, though Draco was pretty certain he had wanted to. They walked from Hogsmeade to the castle wrapped in each other and happiness over how things had gone.  
  
"See, that wasn't too bad."  
  
"Considering I found out things about your family I could well have lived without knowing, it was ok."  
  
"Malfoy, I bet a night spent with your family would result in more unpleasant surprises than that."  
  
"You're probably right."  
  
"Of course I'm right."  
  
"Weasley, when did you start getting these delusions?"  
  
"Ever since I discovered that I could make you beg me."  
  
"I knew it was a mistake to let you handcuff me."  
  
"You loved it."  
  
"That's beside the point."  
  
"So, I should never do it again?"  
  
"I didn't say that."  
  
Ron dropped a kiss on the top of Draco's head. "Things are pretty good, don't you think?"  
  
"Yeah. I like being with you."  
  
"I like being with you so much I think we should hurry back to school and find those handcuffs again."  
  
"And you told Harry you weren't just interested in my body."  
  
"I'm not." Ron stopped and turned Draco to face him. "I'm interested in everything about you. You know this started as a joke, but it's more than that to me, now."  
  
"I know. It's more than that to me too. I don't want to give you up."  
  
"As far as I'm concerned, you'll never have to give me up."  
  
"Great." Draco leaned up and kissed Ron, gently and tenderly, passion taking a backseat to other emotions. They looked into each other's eyes for a long moment, before continuing up to the main door, with arms and thoughts wrapped completely around each other.  
----  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and sorry to anyone who was sickened by the feathers. They were a stroke of genius at the pinnacle of my weirdness frenzy.   
I think I let Draco and Ron get off lightly in the meeting with the Weasleys, don't you? There may be another chapter with a comically melodramatic Lucius, where they won't be let off lightly at all. But I don't know. I leave for my holiday tomorrow, and who knows what craziness will have invaded my mind by the time I get back? So, muchoes smoochies to you all, and please review. Yeah, have you noticed they don't say the l-word? I'm kind of phobic about it (Which should tell you something about my realtionship style), and I think they need more time. Something else I've noticed is that most fics use descriptions instead of names throughout. Do you think the way I use just their names is too boring? Too limited? Too repetitive? Should I really write sentences like 'The red-haired boy brushed silken strands off the face of his lover. Grey eyes melted as he looked up.' I don't think I could write that with a straight face, but if my lack of descriptive adjectives is a fault I will try to use more. Let me know.  



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